My Recovery with Photography
Bit of a weird title to begin with, but read on and all will become clear.
I have mentioned in a few of my recent posts that my photography has helped me immensely in my recovery, but until now I have never said what my recovery was. I think now is the right time to take the next major step on my journey.
For the last seven months or so, I have been a recovering alcoholic - I say have been, I will always be recovering. Along the way of my illness I have lost many friends and nearly lost people I love dearly because of the addiction. Thanks to my close friends, my family and my photography I have become a better, stonger person.
Ok, so why have I decided to write about this in my photography blog? Simplest answer - because I needed and wanted to.
There is still a huge stigma to people with addiction, not matter what kind it is, and I hope to share a little more understanding.
My addiction affected not only my life and relationships with friends and family, it affected my photography (which is my passion). I would over complicate things, not finish projects, and would even find excuses not to go out with my camera.
I was off work for quite some time just over a year ago due to depression, and unfortunatelly this is the time my illness with alcohol really got hold of me. Why do I keep calling it an illness? Well, in a nutshell, that's what addiction is. When you ask somebody to define the word acoholic, most times the answer will be a tramp sleeping off the hangover on a park bench, people sleeping in doorways asking for change for a coffee.
Do you know who that person really was before they became ill? Like cancer, or any other disease alcohol does not discriminate, it doesn't care how old you are, was race, or even what your profession is.
Addiction does not just happen over night, it creeps up on you, silently, sneakely, just like a cat would stalk a bird, then all off a sudden you are in it's grip, and believe me when I say it's grip is far stronger than you can imagine.
In then end I decided I needed professional help, and so I made my first steps on my journey to recovery, and it is now nearly eight months since I have touched alcohol.
Apart from the great help from others, you know who you are (and I will never be able to thank you enough), I have pushed myself further into my photography, determined to learn new things, to start thinking out of the box. I challenge myself regularly to try something different and also try to get my own style of photography out there, and who know, maybe get noticed more.
My moods can and do change on a daily basis, but whenever I can, I get my camera gear and try taking photos that help me be in a good place.
Finally, for now, I would just like to say that it was not easy to write this post as very few people knew of my illness. Most of my work collegues did not know, most of my Facebook friends did not know - until now. I know I have been on a very difficult journey (along with those very close to me too), and I know I still have a long journey ahead, but with the help of those around me and with my photography (not forgetting my two lovely dogs too) I will get there.....
I often close my eyes and picture myself here (one from the Lake District), alone, free and just clear my head
One of my many 'mini challenges' to myself taken at a recent wedding I did in Newcaslte (England)
A quick Selfie (hate my photo being taken, LOL!), something else I now challenge myself to do
Please feel free to share this post, and can I ask one favour before I go? If somebody out there is asking for help, or trying to get better, don't be a stranger.
Again, thank you for taking the time to read this post.
